Sad

I am trying to pretend that I will not be going back to work in 6 days. Honestly, I am heartbroken. Everyone keeps saying "It's only six weeks until summer." I know that, and in the grand scheme of life, six weeks is not very long. I am more sad by what it represents. This is the beginning of my life as a working mom. I know, lots of people do it and manage just fine. Truth be told, I am not sure how I am going to keep up. I am not known for being the most organized person, and I am not very good at multi-tasking. I am usually one of the last teachers up at school trying to get ready for the next day. I am going to do my best to get everything done more quickly and get home at a decent hour. Even if I do, that will still only leave 3-4 hours before Emery goes to bed. And since she is such a good sleeper (11-12 hours straight every night), she will most likely still be asleep in the morning when I leave for work. She has not been out of my care for more than 4 hours since the day she was born, and I just can't imagine leaving her. I know she will be in wonderful hands with her two grandmas, but i am so jealous that someone else will be getting to spend more time with her than me. Selfish, I know! Everyone always tells you how much you will love your children. It's impossible to describe the feeling. I find myself checking on her at night and wanting so badly to pick her up and snuggle. I miss her even when she's sleeping!

I am sure that everything will work out in the end. I am lucky to have a job that I love, so I know that will make it a little easier. I am going to do my best to stay positive next week, but I am entitled to at least a small pity party, right??


Who would want to leave this sweet face?